How often do you ask ‘How are you?’ only to hear the same robotic answer: ‘Fine’?

Is that the connection you want as a leader?

No!!! Lame. Limp. Lazy. Possibly even lying! Because let’s be honest—you’re probably not fine.

When we respond to the simple question ‘How are you today?’ with ‘fine’, here’s what we’re really doing:

• Disrespecting the other person’s interest in us
• Showing a lack of emotional intelligence
• Dodging vulnerability

As leaders, we expect emotional intelligence from our teams. We ask them to tune into their emotions and regulate them. But when ‘fine’ is our default, what kind of example are we setting?

There’s a lot of buzz around vulnerability in leadership, and for good reason. Vulnerability builds trust, connection, and shows our humanity. If you’re feeling stressed, excited, anxious, or eager—why not say so? ‘Fine’ shuts the door on connection and leaves no room for meaningful interaction.

‘Fine’ can be interpreted as shorthand for “I haven’t got time for this—or you—today.” And just like that, an opportunity for a genuine human connection is lost.

So, how are you really feeling today?

If you’re stuck for words, Brené Brown’s brilliant book Atlas of the Heart describes 87 human emotions and experiences. Spoiler alert: fine isn’t one of them. Read the book or download the free PDF summary from her website to get started on broadening your emotional vocabulary. It’s a small change that can make a big difference in your leadership (and possibly your life!).

As for me, thanks for asking… The sun is shining as I write this, and I’m feeling optimistic and creative.

Fearless Leadership isn’t just about guiding others—it starts with leading yourself. Next time you’re asked ‘How are you?’, take a risk. Reveal yourself. Show your team that you value being real, because leadership thrives on trust and connection.

Go Fearlessly