How conscious are you of what’s your stuff, and what belongs to others? More often than we realise, we project our desires, hopes, fears, personalities and insecurities onto other people.
To make things even trickier, they are simultaneously projecting onto us!
If you are a parent, you may be projecting a wish for your child to be good at sports or to study medicine. Perhaps you experienced an unsafe childhood, so your desire to protect them transmits an unspoken fear or hyper caution. Simultaneously your child is projecting their hopes onto you. Complex! Of course, this happens in the workplace too. Recently when working with a leadership team, one executive opened up to the team about a new awareness that he had reached… “When I say something, it’s not about them. It’s never about them. It’s much more likely to be about me. Now that I’ve got that awareness, it’s easier to connect with people.” Nice! He was getting out of the way of his relationships, and new depths of connection were possible.
So are you the projector or the screen? Actually, you are both. It’s awareness that matters…
When are you the screen? When are you the projector? And what action will you take to minimise clouding both your interactions with, and expectations of others?